drawings by sam wallman
"I want a person with aids for president and I want a fag for vice president and I want someone with no health insurance and I want someone who grew up in a place where the earth is so saturated with toxic waste that they didn’t have a choice about getting leukemia. I want a president that had an abortion at sixteen and I want a candidate who isn’t the lesser of two evils and I want a president who lost their last lover to aids, who still sees that in their eyes every time they lay down to rest, who held their lover in their arms and knew they were dying. I want a president with no airconditioning, a president who has stood on line at the clinic, at the dmv, at the welfare office and has been unemployed and layed off and sexually harassed and gaybashed and deported. I want someone who has spent the night in the tombs and had a cross burned on their lawn and survived rape. I want someone who has been in love and been hurt, who respects sex, who has made mistakes and learned from them. I want a Black woman for president. I want someone with bad teeth and an attitude, someone who has eaten that nasty hospital food, someone who crossdresses and has done drugs and been in therapy. I want someone who has committed civil disobedience. And I want to know why this isn’t possible. I want to know why we started learning somewhere down the line that a president is always a clown: always a john and never a hooker. Always a boss and never a worker, always a liar, always a thief and never caught."
An Australian politician taking his morning jog through the capital has been attacked by a kangaroo.
Shane Rattenbury, a minister in the Australian Capital Territory government that administers Canberra, said he was jogging along the pavement in suburban Ainslie when he almost collided with an eastern grey kangaroo that had been grazing on a front lawn.
"We both got a nasty fright – and of course when kangaroos are startled they lash out," the 41-year-old said. "As the kangaroo sought to escape, it landed on me, and its claws dug into my leg."
Rattenbury said the 1.4-metre (4ft 7in) marsupial knocked him to ground, with the claws drawing blood from two deep scratches on his left leg. His right leg was bruised from the impact of the fall.
The minister was driven home by a passerby who spotted him lying injured on the roadside. He was taken to hospital, where his wounds were cleaned and he received a tetanus jab.
"The nurse who treated me had treated someone before who had been scratched by a kangaroo and ended up with a very bad infection," Rattenbury said. "So she was quite keen to give [the wound] a good clean-out."
When the minister limped into the ACT parliament a few hours after his ordeal he was bemused that many colleagues seemed more concerned about the kangaroo’s welfare. “I can assure people that the kangaroo is fine,” he said. “It was last seen hopping off into the distance quite comfortably.”"